Approaching Glory

Post Move Stress Syndrome or PMSS

I don't know that there is such a thing as Post Move Stress Syndrome - but, IMHO, it should be acknowledged.  I've woken up a couple of times recently wondering what room I was in - looking for the familiar layout of a bedroom I had for over twenty years.  The feeling has washed over me several times - "Okay - I did this - can I go home now?"   But - I am home.  The new little rental home.

I am a bit stalled emotionally right now.  I know that my job will probably not be in existence next year - that means I will need to find another job.  And I must admit that I love this job and I love that it is part time.   I honestly don't know how I would do back full-time with 35 students in my class.

Perhaps what I am feeling is that instability.  We're really not "stabilized" yet.  This year we face Jennifer leaving to go to her next adventure in college, Jbird will finish his degree at GSC and then go to his new adventure in college, we still need another car, I don't know if I will have a job,  will we chose to rent this home for another year,  our dog Tango is showing signs of leaving us,  and will I ever finish unpacking - should I finish unpacking?

Let end this by saying I know that I've been blessed.  With everything we've been through, God has been faithful.  And some days I do better than others with wanting to know what is around the next corner.  Today is not one of those days.  Thank you Lord that You love me in spite of myself.

Wii Communicate

Still here - still no date.  Hubby sort of promised me the other day a "before the end of October".  Right.  Okay, so here is an updated list:

1.  I plan on using the storage bags I bought even if they don't stay totally compact because they do well enough that it is beneficial.

2.  Still have not tried the Pandigital.  So much other stuff going on.  Will get there.

3.  Had an interview.  It went well.  Get edged out by someone else.  Oh well.  I've got two more resume in and I still am in the system to sub.

4.  Everyone is back in school and doing well.  Jbird seems to be hanging in there and I see an upturn with a small med change.  He got good reports on his blood tests - he A1C's were very good - so no concern right now about diabetes.  He's been doing super on staying away from sweets and carbs as much as possible.  He's also cut back on portions and has started walking some hiking trails.

5. Have up and down days still, yet, whatever.... I know that is to be expected but it still bugs me when I lose a day to feeling depressed.

6.  Took a friend to the hospital for her necessary tests.  She got a good report and then we went out to eat at Fatz.  Good food.

7. Taking Speed Spanish and Podcasting for the Classroom for my final two need PLU's for recertification.  Think I may have put a little too much pressure on myself at this time.  Painting daisies 101 would have been more appropriate.

8. Tomorrow I have two projects to do:  get knitting stuff sorted, realistically look at some of the yarn and decide to keep or give away, put projects that I'm making in baggies, and repack all in a huge tub.  Laundry must be done or I'm going naked.  Through a meal in the crockpot in the morning so I don't have to worry about food for tomorrow night.  And I NEED to paint - for me - for sanity - for the pleasure of it.

9.  Oh - and we got a Wii - we need a respite from all the stress and the family is truly enjoying it.

Hope you are blessed and doing well.  You know where I am God and where I am going - that's good enough for me :)

In Case You Were Wondering.....

II normally can think of a million things I want to say to Blogisphere and then I just don't sit down and get er done.  And Uli - thanks for caring enough to ask :)  Here's what's happening:

1. I thought the Space Bags were going to be the next best thing to sliced bread.  However, I discovered that the bag we had sucked the air out of - had inflated overnight!  Boo hiss. I will give it another try but I think the other box of Space Bags may find itself going back to Wallyworld.  What is weird is that I got two good reviews from friends and one bad review - one guy even uses it to pack his clothes for travelling.  Maybe I did something wrong?
2. I got the Pandigital thing in this week but have not given it a whirl yet but I am putting my albums in a box and plan on having a sit-down-a-thon - watch - tv -thing soon.
3. Since we haven't taken a family vacation in several years and since this year has been a disaster - and since Jbird's books cost substantially less than what we had planned - we went out and bought a Wii and what a great time our family is having together with it!  And let me tell you - for Hubby and me - the Wii Fit is truly a workout.  Excellent program.
4. I applied for three more jobs - nothing back on any of them. To say that I feel rejected and a work failure is an understatement.
5. Hubby went for a job interview on Friday to make possible school change - he'll know something on Monday but I would be surprised if they would make a transfer this close to the beginning of school.  But we've prayed and asked the Lord to either close the door or open it wide - quickly.
6. Some days are better than others.  I look at the tree we planted when Jbird was a baby.  I look at the bush that I planted because my mother loved those flowers.  The holly bush my MIL got us as a welcome to your new home.  The bushes my son got me for Mother's Day one year - and I hurt.
7. I need a camera to take pictures of all those things - to remember.  I need a camera to take pics of my china, furniture, instruments, etc. for insurance purposes.  Working on that....
8. And the big fat answer to do we know where we are going yet? NO.  The answer is a big fat NO.  Hubby and I dither over prices.  Then he threw in the interview at a different school which totally effects where I would look. And I still don't have a time table.
9. Hubby goes back to work next week.  Jbird in two weeks - and part of me is SO ready.  I actually think I'll get more done without them around - that sounds bad - sorry.
10. I was contacted about a possible home-based job - I wanted to say I need a home first - but I digress....

I will be okay.  I don't like this place in my life right now but I will overcome it and one day I will be typing a post in our new place - and things will be settled - and I will be painting and knitting again - one day - soon - please.

Treasure Drawers

I believe I am getting a glimpse into my mother's feelings when Dad decided to move us to Florida when I was a young teen.  Tired of the winters, Dad just announced on day that he was putting the house up for sale and we were moving to Ft. Lauderdale.  To this day, I have no idea why he determined that was the place we would be going - we had no home to go move to - and I don't know how my parents arranged for us to be in an apartment either.  But I do remember the packing.  And I remember I didn't like it.  Here is a story I wrote about me helping Mom "sort" :)

TREASURE DRAWERS

SJ Belcher 1995

 

As I walked into my kitchen, the phone rang.  The caller was my friend wanting to know what I was doing.   I told her I was on my way to get something out of the junk drawer.

“Which drawer is that?”  She asked.  There was a slight pause before she burst into giggles.  I could not help but laugh with her.

I am a notorious pack rat.  After we finished our conversation, I got off the phone and determined to reform.  I picked up a trash bag and headed for the drawer.  It was so full that stuff dropped to the floor as I tried to open it.  Immediately, I remembered the day when I cleaned my mother’s junk drawer.

I was fourteen the year my family decided to move south.  Once Dad made the decision, he took action and placed a sign in front of our house.  Mom and I thought nothing would happen for quite awhile, but the first weekend on the market, the house sold.  We suddenly found ourselves with thirty days to clean out years of living.

On the day of memory, Mom had a list of in-town errands.  She decided to leave me at home with chores.  I found myself with garbage duty, and the job of cleaning out the junk drawer in the kitchen.  Neither assignment was palatable.  Hauling two big silver cans to the curb was not easy, and the junk drawer was crammed to the hilt.

I stomped off to the garage to get a big cardboard box to throw stuff in.  When I tried to open the drawer, I could only get it open about half way.  Included in the mess before me were trussing twine used at Thanksgiving, old game tickets from restaurants, clipped out recipes from the paper, and so on.

Hoping to make some sense of the conglomeration, I tried to create piles of related items on the counter.  When I heard the sound of the garbage truck coming up our street, inspiration hit me.  I pulled the box over to the drawer and dumped its entire contents.  I spied the piles on the counter and reasoned anything could be replaced.  With one swoop, it all went into the box.

I dragged the carton to the curb.  Then I got the garbage cans and lugged them to the road.  I was proud that I had gotten done before the truck reached our house.  Finished with my tasks, I went inside and plopped myself in front of the television.

That is where Mom found me.  She could not believe I was done.   She gave me a suspicious look and left to check my work.  Responding to her summons, I discovered her staring at the void in the drawer.  Her gaze raked the counters and then my face.  She demanded to know where the drawer’s contents were located.

      I think that is when I realized that my solution had problems.  Mom demanded I get the cardboard box and do the task correctly.  Her anger switched to shock, which mixed with tears, when I explained that the box had already been collected.

The rest of that day is blurry.  I remember Mom made a phone call to Grandma for commiseration.  When Dad got home, we had a “talk”.  He tried to explain how accumulated objects could correspond to life.  I did not understand what the fuss was about.

I bent down to gather the items that had fallen from my junk drawer.   I picked up a plastic palm tree ice cube, a potato skewer, pinking shears, and a money clip.  Those items represent my son’s fifteenth birthday, a dinner with the Anderson’s, a homemade diaper bag, and my father-in-law coming to live with us.  I wiped away a tear, shut the drawer, and put away the trash bag.  Call me lesson-challenged.   I finally learned about treasure drawers.

 

 

Today:  Well, now I have a whole house of treasure drawers.  Drawers full of memories - things you saved because - well - you did.  Things you mull over - "Do I keep it or not?"  Thankfully, I am balanced by the fact that I do know where my true treasures are - may your day be a good one :)

 

 

 

Cool Buy on a Hot Day

Jbird and I drove down to Athens, GA the other day.  The kid was actually a pleasure to be with - considering I told him before we left that I intended to do more window shopping than anything else.

First thing we did was stop at Taco Bell's and got brunch.  I love their Bacon Club Chulupa - yum!  The weather was horribly hot.  We went to JoAnn's fabrics first.  Saw lots of things to be interested in but mother nature called and I needed to leave in order to find a restroom.  Note to the store:  you missed a sale - please put in restrooms - it doesn't make sense to be a store that sells primarily to women and NOT have public restrooms!  Okay - rant over.

We then went to Office Depot to get ink for my printer. I like the little printer we got to take the place of the one that died, but it seems to use ink much more quickly than the old one.

Then off to Hobby Lobby where I purchased a couple of canvasses at 30% off and some large wood letters for a project for Jbird's new room in the new place of which we know not.  I also plan on getting him a black wooden daybed/trundle - of which his father knows not - lol!

Lastly - we went to Barnes and Noble.  I could live there forever and be a happy camper.  We each got a caramel latte with a cream cheese bagel and enjoyed a good discussion.  Then we hit the books.  I got the Knitting book on the clearance table for practically nothing.  It has three patterns I've been wanting to knit!  Woo hoo!  I've seen other people's postings on their blogs and have drooled over the items.

Quick stop at Krogers to get some cold water and we headed back to the hacienda.

However, I have promised myself not to start anything new until we are settled in the new place.  I'm going to pack up all my knitting stuff (except two projects that are almost finished).  I am going to leave out my paints and I WILL do some painting to keep my stress levels as normal as possible. 

Cathead Biscuits

A couple of weeks ago Hubby and I went out to breakfast up in Habersham County with a young couple with whom we've become fast friends. It was a quaint little "home town" café on the square. After we said our greetings and got settled we took a look at the menu. My eyes went down to the item – cathead biscuits. Now I've lived long enough in the South (or any place as far as that goes) to know enough that this place was NOT serving cats' heads or fish heads as a biscuit. So – I asked the obvious question, "What is a cathead biscuit." It got me an "Oh Susan" from my young female friend – and the guys bust out laughing. I hid my face behind the menu and pretended to hide in shame. Obviously, this knowledge was something everyone was supposed to know. And it was then that I realized that I may have lived here in Georgia for over thirty years but I'm still a Yankee – no matter what.  For more information on cathead biscuits read here.

Life Without the Traditions

My Easter today is nothing like the one I used to celebrate as a child.  My family did a very formal traditional Easter back then.  We were a mixture of Protestants and Catholics but that never seemed to matter (although some of my family members couldn't come to my church).  There was the shopping for the new Easter outfit - dress, shoes, gloves, hat, spring coat, etc.  The hat was always a point of disagreement for Mom and me.  I look terrible in hats and when you see pictures of me in them it is pretty obvious.

The relatives always shuffled between my Grandma J's or our house for the big meal.  Time was set - dishes assigned (secretly always hoping Grandma B would bake a lemon meringue pie for me).  For some reason I always remember the Easter at Grandma J's more.  Pots of lilies decorated the room.  Sitting around the dining room table with the traditional Polish Catholic butter lamb adorning the center.  We came from Buffalo and it is a big thing there - even though we were not Polish :) 

After we ate - it was ladies to the kitchen and guys to the living room.  I would sneak upstairs and play in the upstairs front parlor.  If I got lucky the door to the attic was unlocked and I would sneak up there and play all sorts of imaginative games. (until I got caught)

My young years were made up of traditions - the Easter eggs, the candy, the baskets, the clothes, the traditional meal, etc.  What was missing was a personal relationship with the One who had risen.  Take all the pagan traditional stuff out of the picture and we all missed the centerpiece of the table.  The butter lamb represented the Lamb who had given His life for us and needed us to partake of Him.  The scarlet ribbon around his neck was a symbol of the blood He shed for me.  Right there in front of me - and I couldn't see it.

Today I don't have all the traditions around me.  I miss them - just like I miss the family with whom I celebrated.  (I don't miss the hats or gloves) What I have that I didn't have then is Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.  He isn't a tradition - He is life and life more abundant.  I don't begrudge people their traditions - as long as Christ is above all else.

When There's Too Much - Reflections

Sometimes in my life it isn't that there isn't anything to blog.  It is that there is way too much!  And some of those things are pretty personal and things I don't want out on the Net.  So you (if there is anyone still out there) get nothing to read.  It doesn't mean I don't think about posting.  Oh - believe me - I write blogs all the time :)  It is a matter of determining whether or not they should see themselves in print.  Most see the file thirteen of my mind.

So far Jbird is hanging in there with this semester.  Of course he is trying very hard to procrastinate and let it pile up to where he is overcome by the sheer size of his assignments.  However, (trying very hard not to be super pushy) his dad and I keep reminding him of the dates.  In fact, he has promised to sit down with me today and go over this month's calendar.  Hopefully, this will occur.  Since I last spoke to you - J has been admitted to Phi Theta Kappa and has an honors day program to attend this coming Thursday.  I couldn't get him to go to the induction for Phi Theta but since his father has this week off for Easter vacation, I hope he'll attend this ceremony.

Rich is now on thyroid medicine.  After his overnight stay in hospital it was determined his thyroid is low.  I can see an improvement already and they will probably bump it up even more.  Hubby and a couple of other teachers went to break up a fight at their school (between two opposing gang members).  For the first time in over eighteen years of teaching, he had a kid attack him.  Rich tried to get out of the way but he was shoved backward and fell.  He injured his elbow, and bruised his hip and his leg.  Thankfully, he won't have to press personal charges - the school will press charges against the boy because blood was drawn.  Don't ask me how I feel about all of this.  I will say that I feel badly for all that the boy faces and he definitely needs prayer.

I have done quite of bit of knitting since December - slippers, two baby sweaters, baby booties - all completed.  I am working on "Hey Teach" and another child's sweater.  Can't figure out why I seem to be having so much trouble getting Hey Teach done - I've read plenty of blogs that say it just whips up.  Hmmm.  Anyway, I've started painting again - a bit.

I also am on week seven of the twelve week program with NAMI.  I have learned so much and highly reccomend the program to anyone who has a loved one with mental illness.  I look forward to Rich attending the program and I've even considered being trained to help volunteer.  We'll see.

The other issue is one I don't care to discuss at this time because it is throwing me into a fit of depression/anger/denial - and instead of prompting me to action it is causing me to shut-down.  Some days it is all I can do to say "Get up and get going."  However, the situation isn't going to go away and I have to believe that God will see us through this.  I in fact know that He will - it is more that I don't want to go down the road it appears we will have to go down.  For one thing I know that Jbird will not handle the stress and strain well at all and it is going to rock is "safe stable" world.

And if God uses it for no other reason than to force me to face that I have judged other people who have found themselves in this situation than I guess I will have learned a lesson at a very high price.

It's The Dog's Fault :) The Agony of Olympic Defeat

Dear Yarn Harlot,

This is MY story and I'm sticking to it.  I selected two items this year for the 2010 Knitting Olympics.  Having won the gold last go-round I was confident I could pull this off.  I selected something new for me and whilst not as daunting as your  awesome project - a challenge for my level of knitting.  I gathered all my materials (making necessary adjustments for lack of needed needle sizes).   

Of course this is when "life" decided to happen.

1. After procrastinating a few days (yes - you read that correctly) I remembered that I failed to take into account that I had two full days of activities that I had forgotten about - cute. But it probably doesn't count.
2. Does making food, cleaning, and pets count for anything?  Nah - didn't think so.
3. How about the time I got so engrossed in the movie I was supposed to knitting to that I actually watched the movie and didn't knit - didn't think so.
4. How about the fact it was a moral imperative that I attempt to beat my husband at Bejeweled?  Didn't think so (and I didn't beat him either)
5. How about the fact that for some reason when I started reading the baby bootee pattern I couldn't for the life of me make head nor tails of it?  Maybe so.
6. Does it mean anything that my two kittens thought batting at my knitting was cool mean anything?  Didn't think so.
7. How about the squirrels in the attic were driving me slightly bonkers?  I know how you feel about squirrels and yarn - does that work?  Didn't think so.

Okay - last chance at a legitimate excuse - last night whilst Canada and the USA were fighting it out on the ice (which by the way congrats and I sure do wish I could have seen it - no cable here) - the dog ate my yarn.  You see I decided to be nice to the dog and share some chicken with him and he grabbed the chicken and the yarn in one chomp.  I was eating and knitting at the same time - yes - I was!  And so I had to start the whole second bootee all over again - are you moved?  Do you care?  Didn't think so :(  Move over USA Hockey team - right there with you.

Getting There From Who Knows Where

  There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer.  ~J.H. Goldfuss

Jbird and I decided to head out to Hobby Lobby to use the gift card I had gotten for Christmas.  However, that little voice was telling me to call my friend and see how she was doing.  Actually, to tell you the truth I decided to call her only once more and than wait until she called me - all my calls were going to Sockland (if you know what I mean).  This time I got through on her cell and she let me know that her MagicJack went down after she had attempted to download the new upload (or something to that effect).  She had called her daughter but they were battling sickness over there and didn't want to expose my friend so they couldn't come help her.  Her son lives down near to Atlanta and he hadn't gotten back to her yet.

I thought for a minute and then prayed silently to myself.  My techie knowledge is pretty limited and I don't like messing with other people's computers - other than sneaking pictures up on their desktops :)  So basically I said, "Lord, You know."  Now that's a pretty good thing to say about anything - cause He does.  And I know that J uses her computer extensively and it bugs the hound out of her when something doesn't work right (big grin).  So I tell her I'll come over.

Jbird and stop and get some doughnuts.  I figure even if I kill her computer she might still like me for bringing over doughnuts.

To make a long story short - the computer is fixed.  Bad stuff off, a couple of programs updated, - the MagicJack functional.  Of course she asked me how I did it.  Reality?  I don't really know.  I tried this and then I went there and looked up this and did that and voila!

Some people can hack it, others can't.  ~Author Unknown